Life is often about doing the right thing and avoiding the wrong thing. Part of life is therefore about continually weighing decisions, making those decisions, and building decision-making processes. these decisions can be made consciously or unconsciously and sometimes, unfortunately, the decision is not ours to make and we still have to deal with the consequences.
at least as important as making the right decisions, however, is avoiding the wrong ones. this goes far beyond the conscious decision-making process, but also involves the people around us. it can be a decision to get involved with certain people, but it can also be a decision to avoid them.
this sounds strange at first and reminds us of withdrawal. however, we all know that people can not only have positive effects on us, but also negative ones. in this sense, the decision to withdraw is appropriate. this is even more true for people who only let you count for something as long as you are at most as big as they are.
because there is a kind of people who only accept other people as long as they are smaller than they are. and these people – consciously or unconsciously – do everything to keep it that way. i call these people “smurf ray shooters” and for me life is also about avoiding those people and their smurf rays.
this decision – a conscious one – is not easy to make. many people are used to moving within their circle of friends or a group of like-minded people all their lives. breaking out of the social fabric would be unbearable, even impossible, for most people. however, i see this not so much as a reason to mourn, but as the only possibility to consistently work on oneself and to grow.
because circles of friends that have been stuck for years or even decades – and i’m not accusing anyone of anything bad here – even take smurf ray shooting a whole step further: in the process, the group members shoot smurf rays at each other – unconsciously – so that none of the group members is smaller or larger than the other.
this leads to a certain consolidation within the group, but also prevents the group members from growing beyond themselves and successfully prevents an individualization of the group members.
therefore my advice to you: grow beyond yourselves by avoiding the smurf rays!